One of my favourite quotes 💡📌

"The cave you fear to enter, holds the treasure you seek."

Joseph Campbell

Leadership Spotlight ✨✨

The Permission Problem

She knew exactly what needed to happen.

The conversation with her underperforming team member had been doing laps in her head for weeks. She'd rehearsed the talking points, identified the specific behaviours, even drafted the follow-up email. The case was bulletproof.

Yet here she was, three weeks later, still finding creative reasons to postpone it.

"I should wait until after the project deadline." "Maybe they'll sort themselves out." "I need more documentation first.""It's nearly Christmas." (It was September.)

This could be any leader, anywhere. Including you, if you're honest about it.

But here's the thing: this isn't about lacking leadership skills or being conflict-averse. This is about something that no one talks about but everyone experiences.

What is the Permission Problem?

Most leadership paralysis isn't about not knowing what to do. It's about not giving ourselves permission to do it.

We know the right call. We understand the stakes. We've done our homework. But somewhere between knowing and doing, we get stuck in an endless loop of second-guessing, over-preparing, and excuse-making. (It takes one to know one 😉)

The permission problem shows up everywhere:

• Delaying tough conversations

• Avoiding strategic decisions

• Holding back on necessary changes

• Not speaking up in meetings where our voice matters

It's the gap between "I know what needs doing" and "I'm actually doing it."

Why Smart People Struggle Most

Counterintuitively, the smartest leaders often struggle most with permission paralysis. Why? Because intelligence can become a trap.

Smart people are excellent at:

• Seeing all possible outcomes (including worst-case scenarios)

• Anticipating objections and complications

• Gathering more data "just to be sure"

• Finding perfectly logical reasons to wait

But leadership isn't a thought experiment. It's action in the real world, with incomplete information and imperfect timing.

I've watched brilliant executives tie themselves in knots over decisions that their less analytical colleagues made swiftly and successfully.

The difference? Permission.

The real culprits

Let me tell you what I've seen after sitting across from countless leaders who look the part but feel like frauds inside.

There are a few classics:

• "I need more information" (Translation: I'm terrified of being wrong) 

• "I should wait until after [insert event here]"(Translation: Maybe the problem will solve itself)
  "I don't want to upset anyone" (Translation: I'd rather upset everyone a little bit for months than upset one person properly for one day) 

• "Who am I to make this call?" (Translation: Impostor syndrome has entered the chat)

Any of these sound familiar? They should. They're practically universal.

But here's what's actually happening while you're busy not giving yourself permission: the problem is getting bigger, your team is getting more frustrated, opportunities are walking out the door, and everyone is starting to notice that the person supposed to be making decisions... isn't.

What changed everything

A few years ago, I was working with someone who'd been avoiding a restructuring conversation for months. Smart person. Great track record. Completely stuck.

"What if the team thinks I'm being unreasonable?" she asked me.

"What if they do?" I replied.

We sat with that for a moment. Not to find the perfect counter-argument, but to realise that being thought unreasonable by some people sometimes comes with the territory of leadership.

She had the conversation the next day. The team wasn’t exactly overjoyed, but they respected her honesty. A few months later, the team was performing better than it had in ages and she'd earned recognition from senior leadership.

The conversation she'd been dreading for months took 30 minutes.

That's the thing about permission paralysis: the anticipation is almost always worse than the reality.

How to give yourself permission

Right. Enough diagnosis. What do you actually DO about this?

Stop waiting for perfect conditions  They don't exist. There will always be a reason to wait. There will always be more information you could gather. There will always be a better time just around the corner.

Ask the real question Instead of "What if I'm wrong?" try "What if I'm right and I do nothing?"

Set a decision deadline  Give yourself 48 hours to make the call. Not to gather more information. Not to have three more meetings. To decide.

Remember why you're there  You weren't given your role because you're psychic or perfect. You were given it because someone thought you could handle the decisions that come with it. Including the messy ones.

Own it  Every day you delay acting, you're essentially saying the people who put you there (including yourself) got it wrong. Maybe trust their judgement a bit more.

The permission slip you've been waiting for

Consider this your official permission slip:

What conversation are you avoiding right now? What decision have you been postponing? What change are you delaying?

You already know what needs doing. You're probably more ready than you think.

Stop asking for permission. Start giving it to yourself.

/Jessy

My right now resources 📊🔎

A short overview of stuff I’ve been engaging with lately

• Book 📚️ Poor Charlie’s Almanack: The essential wit and wisdom of Charles T. Munger by Munger and Kaufman (the sheer brilliance of his saying things straight!)

• Music 🎵 mostly K-Pop, courtesy of my daughter (I fear for what’s to come)

• Watching 🎥 E.T. by Spielberg (introducing my son to the classics)

• Podcast 📻️ Energy transition vs energy addition, with Jarand Rystad on Let’s Talk Energy

• Software 👩‍💻 Beehiiv